If someone you know has experienced interpersonal violence, it is important to know that it is never the fault of the survivor.
If a student shares that they or their friend have experienced sexual violence, please consider the following when responding:
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Listen:
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Do not ask questions about the details of the experience. Just listen without interruptions or assumptions.
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Do not ask questions about the details of the experience. Just listen without interruptions or assumptions.
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Believe:
- Believe their story.
- Let them know it was not their fault, and thank them for telling you.
- Avoid asking "why" questions, as this can sound accusatory or blaming.
- Survivors may not remember what happened to them, or may not identify it as rape, sexual assault, domestic violence or stalking. Mirror the vocabulary they use.
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Accept:
- Allow the student to make their own decisions about what they want to do. Follow their lead.
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Do not make the decisions for them.
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Validate:
- Validate their experience.
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Communicate to them that it is not their fault under any circumstance, including what they wore or what they did.
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Support:
- Find out what they need from you.
- Talk with them about confidential sources of support and information, such as CAPE.
- Ask how you can best support them.
- Make sure to take care of yourself, too.